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Starring
Phil Silvers
as Sergeant Ernest Bilko
Season 4 (CBS) (1958-59)
Episode Guide
compiled by The Classic TV Archive
with contributions by:
references:
TV Guide /
Library of Congress (telnet://locis.loc.gov)
Internet Movie Database (https://us.imdb.com)
UCLA Film and Television Archive / Writers Guild of America (wga)
### The Phil Silvers Show: Sergeant Bilko ####
############## season 4 1958-59 ##############
############### (final season) ###############
CBS Fridays 9:00 pm Eastern (35 episodes + 1 one-hour special)
Production credits as for Season 2 except:
Produced by Edward J. Montagne
Staged by Aaron Ruben
Writers shown where known.
4.01 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
GOLD FEVER
26Sep58 CBS Fri
(Written by ?; #35108) Bilko finds
the map to a secret gold mine near Grove City, California, and then discovers
that abandoned Camp Fremont, which lies over the mine, is to be demolished to
make way for a new highway. To protect 'his' gold, Ernie must get the army to
re-open the base, even if it means getting all of Fort Baxter transferred
there...
4.02 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
BILKO'S VAMPIRE
03Oct58 CBS Fri
(Written by Neil Simon & Terry Ryan; #35112)
Sgt. Ritzik is spending all his time watching horror films when Bilko
thinks he should be playing cards. In an attempt to remedy the situation,
Bilko convinces Ritzik that the films are turning him into a vampire - and
makes a very good job of it!
4.03 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
BILKO'S DE LUXE TOURS
10Oct58 CBS Fri
(Written by Coleman Jacoby; #35109)
Bilko tries to cash in on the poor rail service between Grove City and San
Francisco by starting his own bus service. Having obtained a school bus for
$25, Ernie finds business is going well - too well for the train company's
liking...
4.4 [--] The Phil Silvers Show: BILKO THE POTATO SACK KING
17Oct58 CBS Fri
(Written by Neil Simon & Terry Ryan; #35113)
Bilko is lured away from the army by a $20000 a year job selling potato sacks.
When a rival company launches a new plastic sack, sales of traditional hemp
sacks
slump. Bilko's boss is left with a huge amount of worthless stock - perhaps the
army would be interested in purchasing some new uniforms...
4.05 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
BILKO Vs. COVINGTON
24Oct58 CBS Fri
(Written by Neil Simon, Terry Ryan & Arnie Rosen; #35110)
Sgt. J. J. Covington is beating Bilko at his own game with his schemes and
scams.
Having failed to get Covington tranferred, and then being tricked into buying
30000
tons of worthless volcanic ash, is it time for Bilko to agree to a truce?
4.6 [--] The Phil Silvers Show: BILKO JOINS THE NAVY
31Oct58 CBS Fri
(Written by Neil Simon & Terry Ryan; #35115)
While in San Diego, Bilko, Paperelli and Zimmerman manage to get in on a huge
Navy
crap game by disguising themselves as sailors. But when the game is raided, they
find themselves aboard an aircraft carrier bound for a 6 month tour of Alaskan
waters!
4.07 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
BILKO'S BIG WOMAN HUNT
07Nov58 CBS Fri
(Written by ?; #35111; November 5th/Nov. 7th)
When Bilko is trapped in a hotel elevator, he is comforted by a pretty teacher.
Smitten by her, Ernie is unable to get her name or telephone number before she
disappears. Perhaps a police artist's impression will help track her down...
4.08 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
THE BILKOS AND THE CROSBYS
14Nov58 CBS Fri
(Written by Neil Simon & Terry Ryan; #35117?)
Bilko fantasizes on what life would be like if he, rather than Bing, were head
of the Crosby household.
4.09 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
BILKO'S ALLERGY
21Nov58 CBS Fri
(Written by Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby; #35117)
Bilko develops an aversion to playing cards, apparently brought on by guilt over
his manipulation of Colonel Hall. He tries to cure himself by making amends to
the Colonel with a special testimonial dinner. However, Colonel Hall begins to
worry about what Bilko's true intentions might be...
4.10 [--] The Phil Silvers Show: BILKO AND THE CHAPLAIN
28Nov58 CBS Fri
(Written by Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby; #35118)
When Bilko visits San Francisco, Colonel Hall sends the Chaplain along to keep
an
eye on him. When he manages to spoil Bilko's date, he promises to make amends,
in
return for Ernie doing him a favour. But is it wise for the Padre to be making
deals
with soldiers, especially one like Bilko?
4.11 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
BILKO PRESENTS THE McGUIRE SISTERS
05Dec58 CBS Fri
(Written by Phil Sharp & Terry Ryan; #35119?)
Bilko stages a concert at Camp Fremont, and
ticket sales are brisk. But will he be presenting the McGuire Sisters? And who
is that guy who looks like Mickey Rooney?
4.12 [--] The Phil Silvers Show: BILKO'S SECRET MISSION
12Dec58 CBS Fri
(Written by ?; #35120)
Bilko and Ritzik are selected for a secret mission in Nevada, only 40 miles from
Las Vegas. They manage to slip away, and head for the bright lights, armed with
Ritzik's sure-fire, astrological roulette formula...
4.13 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
BILKO'S GIVEAWAY
19Dec58 CBS Fri
(Written by ?; #35116)
Aided by a child genius, Bilko wins several prizes on a TV quiz show. Faced with
$6000 of taxes, he starts his own GI quiz show on the local TV station. With a
little
help from Bilko, Doberman becomes a star contestant!
4.14 [--] The Phil Silvers Show: BILKO AND THE MEDIUM
26Dec58 CBS Fri
(Written by ?; #35121)
Bilko tries to persuade the Ritziks to invest $500 in a pool hall, but they
always consult
Madame Zaboda before making any financial decisions. So Bilko arranges for
them to meet his friend 'Madame Flossie'. Madame Zaboda is not impressed...
4.15 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
BILKO'S BOPSTER
02Jan59 CBS Fri
(Written by ?; #35122)
When jazz drummer Skinny Sanders is assigned to the motor pool, Bilko plans a GI
jazz
band tour of Europe. Unfortunately, finding other skilled musicians proves to
be a bit of a problem...
4.16 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
BILKO'S HOLLYWOOD ROMANCE
09Jan59 CBS Fri
(Written by ?; #35123)
The press agent of Hollywood star Monica Malamar decides that arranging a
romance
with a clean-cut GI will improve her image. But when the selected soldier turns
out
to be Sgt.Bilko, something drastic must be done to get rid of him!
[--] 16Jan59 CBS Fri - no details
4.17 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
KEEP IN STEP
23Jan59 CBS Fri
(Written by Billy Friedburg, Arnie Rosen, Coleman Jacoby and Terry Ryan #????)
A movie is to be made about Sgt. Bilko, and he is
worried about who will portray him.(One hour special mentioned by Televison
Chronicles and apparently broadcast live.)
4.18 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
BILKO'S GRAND HOTEL
30Jan59 CBS Fri
(Written by ?; #35124)
When Bilko buys a run-down hotel in Grove City, he appoints a down-and-out
called Chester
Hilton as its manager. Naturally, Ernie renames it the Grove City Hilton. Just
how much
will the real Hilton Hotel chain be prepared to pay to have it closed down?
4.19 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
BILKO'S CREDIT CARD
06Feb59 CBS Fri
(Written by ?; #35125)
Bilko launches his own credit card for soldiers - The GIs' Gourmet Guild, signs
up
all the restaurants and clubs in Grove City, and then spreads some worrying
rumours about Sgt. Ritzik's cooking. The scheme looks like it will be a real
money maker- until the day that the first payments are due from cardholders...
4.20 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
VIVA BILKO
13Feb59 CBS Fri
(Written by ?; #35126)
On a visit to Mexico, Bilko, Doberman, Paparelli and Zimmerman are robbed of
their
uniforms. The robbers then rob a bank dressed as GI's. When the soldiers finally
recover their clothes they become the prime supects!
4.21 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
THE COLONEL'S PROMOTION
20Feb59 CBS Fri
(Written by Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby; #35127)
In hope of getting a promotion, Colonel Hall attempts to clean up Camp Fremont
once
and for all. But when the promotion fails to materialize, Bilko convices the
Colonel
to visit the Pentagon for a explanation. Mrs. Hall asks Bilko to go along to
keep an
eye on him - perhaps not such a wise idea...
4.22 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
BILKO'S SHARPSHOOTER
27Feb59 CBS Fri
(Written by ?; #35128)
Bilko plans to exploit the shooting skills of WAC Polly Porter. The first event
he stages
is a shooting contest against Sgt. Ritzik's own marksman, Pvt. Masters. The
contest does not go quite according to plan when the two sharpshooters meet...
4.23 [--] The Phil Silvers Show: BILKO'S FORMULA SEVEN
06Mar59 CBS Fri
(Written by ?; #35129)
When some applejack has to be hastily disposed of, it gets poured into the
engine of a
Jeep. Pvt. Jenkins, in the process of draining that Jeep's sump, gets covered
in an oily goo which appears to work wonders for his wrinkled face. Bilko then
tries to sell this 'miracle formula' to a major cosmetics company.
[--] 13Mar59 CBS Fri - no details
4.24 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
BILKO'S APE MAN
20Mar59 CBS Fri
(Written by ?; #35131)
Bilko tries to launch the movie career of Pvt. Forbes, a former physical
training
instructor. After getting his man disqualified from the Mr Universe contest,
Bilko
decides to make a short promotional film of Forbes fighting a gorilla (or
rather,
Duane Doberman in a gorilla suit). Once again, things do not go completely to
plan...
4.25 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
WARRANT OFFICER PAPARELLI
27Mar59 CBS Fri
(Written by ?; #35130)
When a keen new Lieutenant is placed in charge of the motor pool, Bilko is keen
to
get him replaced by someone a bit more pliable. Perhaps one of his men could
get promoted...
4.26 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
BILKO'S GODSON
03Apr59 CBS Fri
(Written by Neil Simon & Terry Ryan; #35132)
Bilko attempts to enroll his godson in the Stanford University class of '77, but
only children of Stanford alumni can be enrolled so far in advance. So first
he has to become a Stanford student himself - the entrance exam shouldn't be
much of a problem, not with all of Sgt. Bilko's resources...
[--] 10Apr59 - no details
4.27 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
GUINEA PIG BILKO
17Apr59 CBS Fri
(Written by ?; #35133)
Colonel Hall tricks Bilko into testing a new tranquilizer pill, which has the
effect
of removing his love of money! Unfortunately, gambling at Camp Fremont becomes
worse
than ever without Bilko controlling operations. In desperation, the Colonel
attempts
to return Bilko to normal....
4.28 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
BILKO, THE BUTLER
24Apr59 CBS Fri
(Written by ?; #35134)
Jealous of a friend who married a rich socialite, Bilko takes a trip to San
Francisco
and tries to meet some millionaires. Managing to get into a cocktail party by
posing
as a waiter, Bilko suddenly overhears a hot stock-market tip...
4.29 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
RITZIK GOES CIVILIAN
01May59 CBS Fri
(Written by ?; #35135)
Emma Ritzik persuades Rupert to leave the army to get away from Bilko's
clutches.
Shamed by his men over the way he has treated Ritzik, Bilko tries to persuade
him
to return.Tracking them down to the roadside diner they are now running, he
discovers
they have been cheated when buying the diner.
4.30 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
BILKO'S SMALL CAR
08May59 CBS Fri
(Written by Neil Simon & Terry Ryan; #35136)
Bilko is forced to assemble an 'imported sports car' from Jeep parts, to cover
up
for the police confiscating the Colonel's new European car. Interest in
Bilko's exotic sports car is strong enough to lead him into full-scale
production of the 'Arrivederci'...
4.31 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
DOBERMAN, MISSING HEIR
15May59 CBS Fri
(Written by Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby; #35137)
Bilko helps a millionaire couple trace their long-lost son - Duane Doberman.
Doberman is not at all keen to share his newly found riches with the rest of the
men. Bilko must quickly devise a plan to get his hands on his rightful share of
the money...
4.32 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
BILKO'S CASINO
22May59 CBS Fri
(Written by ?; #35138)
An old document appears to exempt the site of the Grove City USO from
Californian
gambling laws. Having purchased the building, Bilko's new casino soon attracts
some
unwanted attention...
4.33 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
THE COLONEL'S SECOND HONEYMOON
29May59 CBS Fri
(Written by Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby; 35139)
When the Colonel refuses Bilko's request for a furlough, he stirs up trouble in
the
Halls' marriage, with the hope that they will try to patch things up by taking a
second honeymoon. Then, hopefully, Captain Baxter will look more favourably upon
his
request, and allow Ernie to take his well-earned break in Sun Valley.
4.34 [--] The Phil Silvers Show: BILKO IN OUTER SPACE
05Jun59 CBS Fri
(Written by Neil Simon & Terry Ryan; #35140)
Sgts. Grover and Ritzik win $600, and then have to go to desperate measures to
avoid Bilko getting within gambling distance. Perhaps 3 days of isolation
within an army space capsule will shake Bilko off their trail...
4.35 [--] The Phil Silvers Show:
THE BILKO BOYCOTT
12Jun59 CBS Fri
(Written by Arnie Rosen & Coleman Jacoby; #35141)
Finally disillusioned with Bilko's gambling, Cpl. Henshaw sets up Gamblers
Anonymous at Camp Fremont and lures virtually all of the men away from Bilko.
In search of new sources of income, Bilko invents some phony schemes to part
the WAC's from their money.
4.36 [--] The Phil Silvers Show: WEEKEND COLONEL
(final episode)
19Jun59 CBS Fri
(Written by Neil Simon & Terry Ryan; #35142)
In order to be able to leave the base at weekends, Colonel Hall installs
a network of closed-circuit TV cameras at Camp Fremont to ensure his peace of
mind. Bilko appears to be finally beaten, until he discovers short-order chef
Charlie Clusterman - who bears more than a passing resemblance to the Colonel
...
### The Phil Silvers Show: Sergeant Bilko ####
#################### the end #################
##############################################
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