CTVA US Music Variety - "The Red Skelton Hour" (CBS) Season 13 (1963-64)

CTVA
The Classic TV Archive - US  Music Variety

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Season 13 (CBS) (1963-64)
Episode Guide compiled by The Classic TV Archive [Updated May 2015]
with contributions by: Tom Alger Rina Fox
references:
TV Guide / Library of Congress (telnet://locis.loc.gov)
Internet Movie Database (http://us.imdb.com)
UCLA Film and Television Archive /  Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

############ The Red Skelton Hour ############
############# season 13 1963-64 ##############
##############################################
CBS Tuesdays 8:00 - 9:00 pm

 On September 24, 1963, Red Skelton launched his 13th TV season in a new time slot, one half-hour earlier on Tuesday evenings
(to make way for the new CBS sitcom "Petticoat Junction").

 13.01 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: PASSION IN PASADENA (copyright title)
aka "Love Is A Many-Splintered Thing"
24Sep1963 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP29226 / copyright date: 21Sep63
Australian broadcast:
03June1964 Melbourne, GTV-9, Wed. 7:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guests:
The Beach Boys … musical guests
Shirley Temple … Debutante
Series regulars:
The Skeltones (returning after a year's absence)
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "Love is a Many-Splintered Thing"
Once again crashing a high society affair, Freddie the Freeloader (Red) falls in love with a pretty debutante (Shirley Temple).
Musical Highlights:
The Beach Boys perform "Surfin' USA" and "Things We Did Last Summer."
The Skeltones
The Silent Spot:
Red plays a panicky construction worker who's trying to keep from falling off a new building.

13.02 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: MY SON, THE MONSTER (copyright title)
01Oct1963 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP29227 / copyright date: 27Sep63
Australian broadcast:
10June1964 Melbourne, GTV-9, Wed. 7:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guests:
Steve Allen … Mr. Cavendish
Jayne Meadows … Mrs. Cavendish
Richard Deacon … Mr. Rerun
Joanie Sommers … musical guest
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "My Son, the Monster"
Steve Allen & Jayne Meadows play second-rate vaudevillians, whose careers are slowed to a halt by their troublesome son Junior (Red), aka "The Mean Widdle Kid."
The jokes range from a reference to the then-controversial film 'Lolita' to the old reliable "You're such a ham, whenever you open the refrigerator door you see
the little light and do ten minutes."
Richard Deacon appears as Mr. Rerun.
Musical Highlights:
Joanie Sommers sings "I Love a Piano" and "Rock-a-Bye Your Baby With a Dixie Melody"
Steve Allen & Jayne Meadows duet on "When I'm in Love."
The Silent Spot:
Red plays Prince Charming, preparing to awaken Sleeping Beauty with a kiss.

13.03 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: POP IS A WEASEL (copyright title)
08Oct1963 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP27728 / copyright date: 4Oct63
Australian broadcast:
17June1964 Melbourne, GTV-9, Wed. 7:45pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guests:
Ginger Rogers … Scarlett O'Fever
Jackie Coogan … Joe Passabuck
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "Pop is a Weasel"
San Fernando Red (Red Skelton) takes over the movie studio run by Joe Passabuck (Jackie Coogan), then tangles with tempestuous film diva Scarlett O'Fever (Ginger Rogers).
Best bit: San Fernando tries to give Scarlett a spanking.
Musical Highlights:
Ginger Rogers' renditions of "I Could Do a Fandango" and "Don't Blame Me."
Rogers' dance routine with Red Skelton Hour choreographer Tom Hansen.
The Silent Spot:
Red attends a football game.

13.04 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: BEWITCHED, BOTHERED AND BRAINLESS (copyright title)
15Oct1963 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP27729 / copyright date: 11Oct63
Australian broadcast:
24June1964 Melbourne, GTV-9, Wed. 7:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guests:
Rosemary Clooney … Telephone Company P.R. Rep
Doodles Weaver … Clem's competitor
Herb Vigran … Phone Company Boss
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "Bewitched, Bothered, And Brainless"
Keeping abreast of current events this sketch pokes fun at the new all-digit telephone dialing system.
Red plays Clem Kadiddlehopper, with Herb Vigran as his phone-company boss and Doodles Weaver as his rival.
Musical Highlights:
Rosemary Clooney sings "Married I Can Always Get" and "Why Shouldn't I?"
The Silent Spot:
Red portrays a retiring stationmaster.

13.05 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: DON'T SIT UNDER THE TOMBSTONE WITH ANYONE ELSE BUT ME (copyright title)
22Oct1963 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP27863 / copyright date: 18Oct63
Australian broadcast:
08July1964 Melbourne, GTV-9, Wed. 7:30pm
Guest:
Jane Powell … Sagebrush Sal / Herself
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "Don't Sit Under the Tombstone With Anyone Else But Me"
At the Old Cowboys' Home, Deadeye (Red) recalls his days as sheriff of Sissy Center.
Jane Powell joins in the fun.
Musical Highlights:
Jane Powell sings a few show tunes.
The Silent Spot:
Red plays a man cleaning up after a wild party.

13.06 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: GET THEE TO A CANNERY (copyright title)
29Oct1963 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP27730 / copyright date: 25Oct63
Australian broadcasts:
07Apr1964 Sydney, TCN-9, Tues. 7:30pm
29July1964 Melbourne, GTV-9, Wed. 7:30pm
Guests:
Ethel Merman … Mother Hughes
Billy Barty … Mouse (Silent Spot)
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "Get Thee To A Cannery"
When "Freddie the Freeloader" (Red) scores a success with his recipe for Mulligan stew, food tycoon Mother Hughes (Ethel Merman)
tries to muscle in.
Musical Highlights:
Ethel Merman sings "Alexander's Ragtime Band," "A Lot of Livin' to Do," "Speak Low," "Molly Malone" and "Brahms' Lullaby."
The Silent Spot:
Red and Billy Barty don animal outfits to play a hungry cat and a clever mouse.

13.07 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: DO YOU TAKE THIS WOMAN TO BE YOUR AWFUL WEDDED WIFE? (copyright title)
05Nov1963 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP27731 / copyright date: 1Nov63
Australian broadcasts:
14Apr1964 Sydney, TCN-9, Tues. 7:30pm
15July1964 Melbourne, GTV-9, Wed. 7:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guests:
Audrey Meadows … Clara Appleby
Richard Deacon … Mr. Griswold (George's Boss)
The Lettermen … musical guest
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "Do You Take This Woman For Your Awful Wedded Wife?"
In a "George Appleby" comedy sketch, Clara Appleby (Audrey) goes to work at the same office as her husband George (Red), hiding her "Mrs." status
because of a rule against married couples. Inevitably, George's boss (Richard Deacon) makes a play for Clara.
This plot-line is more than a little reminiscent of "Brother Ralph," an episode of The Honeymooners in which Audrey Meadows appeared.
Indeed, at the end of the sketch, Red declares "Baby, you're the greatest!" before planting a kiss on Audrey-then turns to the camera and giggles
"Ya get the feeling you're watching a rerun?"
Musical Highlights:
The Lettermen (vocal trio) sing "If I Had a Hammer," "Graduation Day" and "Sweetheart of Sigma Chi."
The Silent Spot:
Red plays an eagle-eyed forest ranger.

13.08 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: IT'S SO NICE TO HAVE A LOUSE AROUND THE HOUSE (copyright title)
aka "It's So Nice to have a Louse ABOUT the House"
12Nov1963 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP27732 / copyright date: 8Nov63
Australian broadcasts:
21Apr1964 Sydney, TCN-9, Tues. 7:30pm
22July1964 Melbourne, GTV-9, Wed. 7:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guests:
Jack E. Leonard (portly insult comedian) … Judge Needleman
Beverly Wright … musical guest
Roland Winters … Mr. Cavendish
Jane Dulo … Mrs. Cavendish
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "It's So Nice to Have a Louse Around the House"
Jack E. Leonard plays a judge presiding over the divorce proceedings of the parents (Roland Winters, Jane Dulo) of Junior Cavendish (Red),
aka The Mean Widdle Kid. There's a controversy involving child custody-neither parent wants to keep Junior!
Musical Highlights: "Red Skelton Discovery Corner"
Beverly Wright sings "Joey," "It's a Most Unusual Day," and "I Stayed Too Long at the Fair"
The Silent Spot:
Red plays a sportscar driver who is hit by a truck.

13.09 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: THE BACHELOR AND THE BOOBY HATCHER (copyright title)
19Nov1963 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP27733 / copyright date: 15Nov63
Australian broadcasts:
28Apr1964 Sydney, TCN-9, Tues. 7:30pm
09Sept1964 Melbourne, GTV-9, Wed. 7:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guest:
Bobby Rydell … Himself / Cousin Zeke Kadiddlehopper
Nancy Everest … Daisy June
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "The Bachelor and the Boobyhatcher"
Hayseed Clem Kadiddlehopper (Red) heads to the Big City to visit a famous designer-his own cousin Zeke
(Bobby Rydell, whose dead-on impersonation of Skelton's Clem borders on the uncanny).
Musical Highlights:
Bobby Rydell performs a medley of "Strike Up the Band," "Make Mine Drums," "The Music Stopped."
The Silent Spot:
A lonely lighthouse keeper (Red) befriends a persistent fly.

[--] 26Nov1963 - The originally scheduled episode "Shrink My Head, I'm A Stranger In Paradise," was delayed until 7Jan1964. Hal Erickson's
"All Movie Guide" claims "Red Skelton" was pre-empted 26Nov1963 for a CBS news special on JFK. But instead of a JFK tribute, CBS appears to
have aired the Skelton episode "The Mouth Shall Rise Again."
At the end of "The Mouth Shall Rise Again," Red announces next week's guests as Raymond Burr and the Kessler Twins. Since Raymond Burr &
the Kesslers appeared on 03Dec1963, "The Mouth Shall Rise Again" should be 26Nov1963.

13.10 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: THE MOUTH SHALL RISE AGAIN (copyright title)
26Nov1963 CBS (air date to be verified)
prod. no. LP27734 / copyright date: 25Nov63
Australian broadcasts:
05May1964 Sydney, TCN-9, Tues. 7:30pm
05Aug1964 Melbourne, GTV-9, Wed. 7:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guests:
Martha Raye … Laundress
Peter Mamakos … Mirage the Gunslinger
Melodye Condos (singer, Martha Raye's daughter) … musical guest
Peter Lupus … college roommate (Silent Spot)
Byron Foulger … Dean Lebrouf
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "The Mouth Shall Rise Again"
Martha Raye shows up in a "Sheriff Deadeye" comedy sketch. Tired of her job as a laundress, Martha answers an advertisement for mail-order brides -
only to discover that her groom-to-be is disreputable desert rat Deadeye (Red Skelton).
Musical Highlights:
Melodye Condos sings
The Silent Spot:
A timid college student (Red) has bully Peter Lupus for a roommate.

13.11 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: GOODNIGHT, SOUR PRINCE (copyright title)
03Dec1963 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP27735 / copyright date: 29Nov63
Australian broadcasts:
12May1964 Sydney, TCN-9, Tues. 7:30pm
12Aug1964 Melbourne, GTV-9, Wed. 7:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guests:
Raymond Burr … King Richard
Alice Kessler … Herself
Ellen Kessler … Herself
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "Goodnight, Sour Prince"
King Richard (Raymond Burr) becomes convinced that empty-headed knave Forsooth (Red Skelton) is his long-lost son.
Musical Highlights:
The Kessler Twins (Alice & Ellen) sing a medley of Western songs: "I'm an Old Cowhand," "Deep in the Heart of Texas," and "Oklahoma Hills."
The Silent Spot:
Red plays a busy department store clerk during the Christmas rush.

13.12 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: IT'S A TREAT TO SELL YOUR WHEAT IN THE VLADIVOSTOK MUD (copyright title)
10Dec1963 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP27736 / copyright date: 5Dec63
Australian broadcasts:
19May1964 Sydney, TCN-9, Tues. 7:30pm
30Sep1964 Melbourne, GTV-9, Wed. 7:30pm
Guests:
Cesar Romero … Russian agent
The Womenfolk … musical guests
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "It's A Treat To Sell Your Wheat In The Vladivostok Mud"
aka "Pow—Right in the Breadbasket."
A Russian spy (played by Cesar Romero) is sent to the Kadiddlehoffer farm to snare Clem's secret for fast growing wheat.
Musical Highlights:
The Womenfolk (quintet) sing folk songs.
The Silent Spot:
Red's plays a bear trainer whose bear is acting up.

[--] 10Dec1963 - According to Hal Erickson's "All Movie Guide," the Cesar Romero/Womenfolk episode was cancelled "due to schedule conflicts."
Yet other sources indicate that this episode was produced … and broadcast. The episode's title, "It's A Treat To Sell Your Wheat In The Vladivostok Mud,"
was registered with the U.S. Copyright office. The episode is listed in several US newspapers for Tuesday, 10Dec1963 on CBS.
(These US newspapers should have had plenty of time to update their listings if this pre-recorded show had been cancelled.)
And, several months after it was supposedly cancelled, the episode shows up in Australian newspaper listings
(in the May 18, 1964 Sydney Morning Herald and in the Sept. 24, 1964 Melbourne newspaper "The Age").

13.13 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: SING A SONG OF SING SING (copyright title)
17Dec1963 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP27737 / copyright date: 14Dec63
Australian broadcasts:
26May1964 Sydney, TCN-9, Tues. 7:30pm
26Aug1964 Melbourne, GTV-9, Wed. 7:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guests:
Dennis O'Keefe … Sid the Snitch
Jackie Coogan … Big Louie (hoodlum)
Joanie Sommers (singer) … musical guest
*
Main Comedy Sketch:
"Sing a Song of Sing Sing"
Seymour the Snitch (Dennis O'Keefe), a hoodlum 'singing" before a crime investigating committee is stalked by Big Louie (Jackie Coogan) and a
con man acquaintance, San Fernando Red (Skelton).
Musical Highlights:
Joanie Somers performs a couple of energetic numbers.
The Silent Spot:
Red plays the father of quintuplets left at home with the babies when his wife goes away for a rest.
Trivia note: The Fisher Quints had been born a scant few weeks before this episode originally aired.

[--] 24Dec1963 - Repeat of #12.13 Christmas program with Clara Williams, the Mitchell Boys Choir, Roberta Lubell.
(incorrectly listed in NY Times as "Color") (first aired 25Dec62)


13.14 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: WILL THE REAL CLARA APPLEBY SHUT UP? (copyright title)
aka "To Tell a Fib"
31Dec1963 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP 27738 / copyright date: 27Dec63
Australian broadcasts:
02Sept1964 Melbourne, GTV-9, Wed. 7:30pm
01Jan1966 (R) Melbourne, GTV-9, Saturday 8:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guests:
Beryl Davis … Clara Appleby I / musical guest
Connie Haines … Clara Appleby II / musical guest
Jane Russell … Clara Appleby III / musical guest
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "Will the Real Clara Appleby Shut Up?" aka "To Tell a Fib"
Which of three courtroom litigants (Jane Russell, Beryl Davis or Connie Haines) is the real Clara Appleby?
All three ladies lay claim to this dubious honor, recalling their individual experiences as the wife of eternal
bumbler George Appleby (Red Skelton). The mystery is never really solved, though George does get to sing a
quickie spoof of the Double-mint Chewing Gum jingle ("Triple your pleasure, triple your fun..." etc.)
Musical Highlights:
Jane Russell, Beryl Davis and Connie Haines sing "Jericho," "I Believe," "Smile" and "Elijah Rock."
When this episode originally aired, they were successfully touring as a singing trio.
The Silent Spot:
An impatient husband (Red) waits for his wife to get ready for a night out. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

13.15 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: SHRINK MY HEAD, I'M A STRANGER IN PARADISE (copyright title)
aka "Stroodel And Freudloader-Instant Brainwashers"
07Jan1964 CBS Tue (postponed from 26Nov1963) / prod. no. LP29227 / copyright date: 3Jan64 (in notice: 1963)
Australian broadcast:
16Sept1964 Melbourne, GTV-9, Wed. 7:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guests:
George Gobel … Dr. Stroodel
Jules Munshin
Vi Velasco (singer)
Barbara Morrison … Rich Widow (Silent Spot)
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "Shrink My Head, I'm A Stranger In Paradise"
aka "Stroodel and Freudloader-Instant Brainwashers"
When Freddie the Freeloader (Red) enjoys success as a counselor to his fellow hoboes, famous psychiatrist
Stroodel (George Gobel) invites Freddie to join his practice. Jules Munshin also appears in the sketch
Musical Highlights: "Red Skelton Discovery Corner":
Vi Velasco sings.
The Silent Spot:
A con artist (Red) attempts to fleece a rich widow (Barbara Morrison).

13.16 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: SIT DOWN, YOU'RE ROCKING THE VOTE (copyright title)
14Jan1964 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP27864 / copyright date: 10Jan64
Australian broadcast:
07Oct1964 Melbourne, GTV-9, Wed. 7:35pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guests:
Stubby Kaye … Mayor 'Honest' Claude Stickyfinger
The Paris Sisters … musical guests
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "Sit Down, You're Rocking The Vote"
Red Skelton covers familiar ground (for him, anyway) playing dimwitted Clem Kadiddlehopper, who incredibly finds himself running against the
incumbent for the mayor's office.
Musical Highlights:
Stubby Kaye sings "The Music Goes Round and Round"
The Paris Sisters sing "Some of These Days" and "Once in a While."
The Silent Spot:
A day in the life of an old-fashioned butcher (Red).

13.17 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE DUMP (copyright title)
21Jan1964 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP27739 / copyright date: 17Jan64
Australian broadcast:
14Oct1964 Melbourne, GTV-9, Wed. 7:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guest:
Merv Griffin (game-show-host and late-night talk-show emcee) … Scoop Wilson
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Dump"
Merv Griffin plays a magazine writer doing an article about the "easy" life of hobo Freddie the Freeloader (Red).
Musical Highlights:
Merv Griffin sings "Once in a Lifetime" and "Little Man You've Had a Busy Day."
The Silent Spot:
Red portrays a victim of hay fever.

13.18 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: THAT'S THE WAY THE FORTUNE COOKIE CRUMBLES (copyright title)
28Jan1964 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP28082 / copyright date: 24Jan64
Australian broadcast:
21Oct1964 Melbourne, GTV-9, Wed. 7:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guests:
Jack Soo (future Barney Miller costar) … Jimmy Howe
Pat Suzki (Asian-American entertainer) … Ruby Peeler
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "That's the Way the Fortune Cookie Crumbles"
George Appleby (Red) tries to sell his company's goods to a big buyer from the Far East.
He gets in plenty of hot water when he arranges a date between an out-of-town client (Jack Soo)
and striptease artist Ruby Peeler (Pat Suzki).
The best gag involves the old set-up "Hmmm. . .I smell punk."
Musical Highlights:
Pat Suzuki sings a medley of "Old Folks at Home" and "Camptown Races" and "Lazy Afternoon."
Jack Soo and Pat Suzki - "A Straw Hat and Cane" song-and-dance number.
(previously the duo co-starred in the Broadway musical "Flower Drum Song")
The Silent Spot:
Red plays the little Dutch boy at the leaking dyke. As a bonus, Skelton reprises his classic doughnut-dunking routine.

13.19 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: CAST YOUR BRAT UPON THE WATER (copyright title)
04Feb1964 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP27740 / copyright date: 31Jan64
Australian broadcasts:
07July1964 Sydney, TCN-9, Tues. 7:30pm
02Oct1965 Melbourne, GTV-9 8:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guests:
Vincent Price … Thomas, the Cavendish Butler
Helen O'Connell … Mrs. Cavendish
George N. Neise … Mr. Cavendish
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "Cast Your Brat Upon the Water"
Despite the admonitions of his mother (Helen), "Mean Widdle Kid" Junior Cavendish (Red) is determined to prove that the family's
new butler (Vincent Price) is a notorious thief.
Musical Highlights:
Helen O'Connell sings "When the World Was Young," "The Best is Yet to Come," and "My Shining Hour."
The Silent Spot:
Kitchen worker Red is temporarily promoted to chef-and guess what happens!

13.20 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: LIVES OF A BUNGLE LANCER (copyright title)
11Feb1964 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP27741 / copyright date: 7Feb64
Australian broadcasts:
14July1964 Sydney, TCN-9, Tues. 7:30pm
19Aug1964 Melbourne, GTV-9, Wed. 7:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guest:
Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. … Colonel Nigel Fitztitely
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "Lives of a Bungle Lancer"
Douglas Fairbanks Jr. kids his swashbuckling screen image in the comedy sketch. Red Skelton is cast as the lookalike
great-grandfather of doofus Clem Kadiddlehopper, serving in British India under stiff-upper-lip colonel Fairbanks.
Musical Highlights:
A dance number is performed by Red Skelton Hour choreographer Tom Hansen and his assistant Leona Irwin.
The Silent Spot:
Red plays an old man celebrating his birthday all by himself.

13.21 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: TAKE HER, SHE'S MEAN (copyright title)
18Jan1964 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP27742 / copyright date: 14Feb64
Australian broadcasts:
21July1964 Sydney, TCN-9, Tues. 7:30pm
16Oct1965 Melbourne, GTV-9, Saturday 8:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guests:
Pat Carroll … Clara Appleby
Jean-Paul Vignon (French singer) … musical guest
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "Take Her, She's Mean"
After George Appleby (Red) wins a free trip to Europe, he and wife Clara (Pat Carroll) get mixed up in a shipboard
contretemps with a jewel thief. Returning from the trip they encounter difficulties with the customs.
Musical Highlights:
Pat Carroll sings Cole Porter's "Down in the Depths on the 90th Floor."
Jean-Paul Vignon sings "Mam'selle."
The Silent Spot:
Red tangles with a recalcitrant vending machine.

13.22 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: HOW ARE THINGS IN GLOCCA MORON? (copyright title)
25Feb1964 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP29191 / copyright date: 21Feb64
Australian broadcast:
28July1964 Sydney, TCN-9, Tues. 7:30pm
25Sept1965 Melbourne, GTV-9 8:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guests:
Don Knotts … 'Steady Fingers' Ferguson
The Youngfolk … musical guests
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "How Are Things in Glocca Moron?"
Don Knotts portrays Steady Fingers Ferguson, the world's most precise diamond cutter who is called in to work on the world's most valuable gem,
worth over five million dollars, which is currently being guarded by the terminally inept Clem Kadiddlehopper (Red).
Musical Highlights: "Red Skelton Discovery Corner":
The Youngfolk perform "Sinner Man" (and possibly "How Are Things in Glocca Mora?")
The Silent Spot:
Red plays a crooked gas-station owner.

13.23 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: ON TOP OF OLD HOKEY (copyright title)
aka "On Top Of Old Smokey"
03Mar1964 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP29192 / copyright date: 28Feb64
Australian broadcasts:
04Aug1964 Sydney, TCN-9, Tues. 7:30pm
30Oct1965 Melbourne, GTV-9, Saturday 8:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guest:
Liberace … Melvin Trueheart
Barbara Clark (Clarke) … Dancehall Girl
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "On Top of Old Hokey"
Red Skelton appears as a sheriff unable to maintain law. To save his job, Sheriff Deadeye (Red) personally selects his potential replacement:
The deceptively mild-mannered Melvin Trueheart (played by Liberace)
Musical Highlights:
Liberace offers a piano medley consisting of "More," "More Than You Know?" and "No New Tunes on This Old Piano."
The Silent Spot:
Red plays a golf maniac confined to his home during a blizzard.

13.24 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: ONE MAN'S MATE IS ANOTHER MAN'S POISON (copyright title)
10Mar1964 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP29228 / copyright date: 7Mar64 (in notice: 1963)
Australian broadcasts:
11Aug1964 Sydney, TCN-9, Tues. 7:30pm
04Dec1965 Melbourne, GTV-9, Saturday 8:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guests:
Vivian Vance … Clara Appleby
The Womenfolk … musical guests
Jackie Coogan … Man Relaxing in Backyard (Silent Spot)
*
Main Comedy Sketch: possibly "One Man's Mate Is Another Man's Poison."
George Appleby shocks his wife Clara (Vivian Vance) by sinking his life savings in an ice cream parlor.
Musical Highlights:
The Womenfolk (folk-singing quintet) perform their hit tune "Little Boxes," as well as two lesser-known compositions.
The Silent Spot:
Hard-working neighbors Red Skelton and Jackie Coogan are having a tough time trying to relax.

13.25 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: I WAS AN S.A.P. FOR THE F.B.I. (copyright title)
aka "I Was a Sap for the F.B.I."
17Mar1964 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP29193 / copyright date: 13Mar64
Australian broadcasts:
18Aug1964 Sydney, TCN-9, Tues. 7:30pm
09Oct1965 Melbourne, GTV-9 Saturday 8:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guests:
Mickey Rooney … Secret Agent 6 7/8
Jo Stafford … Darlene Edwards / musical guest
Quinn O'Hara … Zenda
Lyle Talbot (imdb)
Jan Arvan (imdb)
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "I Was an S.A.P. for the F.B.I."
Novice spy Clem Kadiddlehopper (Red) assists Secret Agent 6 7/8 (Mickey Rooney) on a dangerous mission to Istanbul.
Highlights include Red's "heavy suitcase" bit (originally seen in the 1942 feature film Ship Ahoy) and Mickey's
explanation of a heated telephone conversation: "That was my wife. . .Trouble is, I don't remember which one."
Musical Highlights:
Jo Stafford performs "Isn't It a Lovely Day?" and, as her off-key alter ego Darlene Edwards, renders (in more ways than one) the ditty "Rain on the Roof."
The Silent Spot:
Red plays a ragamuffin newsboy.

[--] 24Mar1965 CBS - Repeat of #12.31 with Rhonda Fleming, Hank Henry (first aired 21May1963)

13.26 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: TIPTOE THROUGH THE TRASH CANS (copyright title)
31Mar1964 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP29194 / copyright date: 27Mar64
Australian broadcasts:
01Sep1964 Sydney, TCN-9, Tues. 7:30pm
27Nov1965 Melbourne, GTV-9, Saturday 8:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guest:
Janet Blair (musical comedy star) … Grace Giveaway / musical guest
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "Tiptoe Through the Trash Cans"
"Freddie the Freeloader" (Red Skelton) tries to persuade philanthropist Grace Giveaway (Janet) to build a new home for hoboes.
Musical Highlights:
Janet Blair sings "I Am Woman, You Are Man" (from the then-current Broadway hit Funny Girl) and "As You Desire Me."
The Silent Spot:
Red plays a shy prince, who must marry to retain his throne.

13.27 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: I WANT TO GO WHERE THE WILD GOOF GOES (copyright title)
07Apr1964 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP29195 / copyright date: 4Apr64
Australian broadcasts:
08Sep1964 Sydney, TCN-9, Tues. 7:30pm
20Nov1965 Melbourne, GTV-9, Saturday 8:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guest:
Connie Stevens (former "Hawaiian Eye" co-star) … Daisy June / musical guest
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "I Want to go Where the Wild Goof Goes"
Mountaineer "Clem Kadiddlehopper" (Red) is heartbroken when his gal Daisy June (Connie Sevens) walks out on him. Heading off to the big city,
Clem discovers that his sweetheart is now a glamorous jet-setter.
Musical Highlights:
Connie Stevens sings.
The Silent Spot:
Red Skelton plays a real estate agent trying to sell a house before it collapses.

13.28 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: THE GOON AND SIXPENCE (copyright title)
14Apr1964 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP29356 / copyright date: 10Apr64
Australian broadcast:
15Sep1964 Sydney, TCN-9, Tues. 7:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guests:
Vincent Price … Dr. Crookshank
Bobby Rydell … Ticklish Tilford / musical guest
Douglas Fowley
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "The Goon And Sixpence"
A spoof of Oliver Twist. Arriving in Merrie Olde London, churlish Forsooth (Skelton) enrolls in Dr. Crookshank's
(Vincent Price) school for thieves. Bobby Rydell joins in the sketch.
Musical Highlights:
Bobby Rydell sings a medley of "When I Take My Sugar to Tea," "My Baby Just Cares for Me," "Walking My Baby Back Home," and "You're Nobody Til Somebody Loves You."
The Silent Spot:
Red is shipwrecked on a desert island.

13.29 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: KEEP THE TRAMP FIRES BURNING (copyright title)
21Apr1964 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP29229 / copyright date: 17Apr64
Australian broadcast:
22Sep1964 Sydney, TCN-9, Tues. 7:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guests:
Cesar Romero (film star) … Billings (Hotel Concierge)
Poncie Ponce (nightclub entertainer, of "Hawaiian Eye" fame) … musical guest
Jan Arvan … Muggsy / Police Chief (Silent Spot)
Jimmy Cross … Rags
Frankie Darro … crook (Silent Spot)
Bill Shannon …. policeman (Silent Spot)
John Hart …. policeman (Silent Spot)
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "Keep the Tramp Fires Burning"
Synopsis 1:
"Freddie the Freeloader" (Red) and his hobo pals converge upon a Honolulu [or Miami] hotel, much to the dismay of the concierge (Cesar Romero).
Synopsis 2:
Romero, returning for his second appearance of the season, portrays a man who owns a swank Miami Beach hotel. As Billings, the hotel owner, Romero's
problem is that Freddie the Freeloader and his two hobo pals, Muggsy and Rags, own a square foot of land smack in the middle of his hotel. Red Skelton plays Freddie;
Jan Arvan plays Muggsy and Jimmy Cross plays Rags. [Provo (Utah) Daily Herald]
Musical Highlights:
Poncie Ponce sings "This Could Be the Start of Something Big," "Orange Tamoure," and "The Good Life."
The Silent Spot:
In "The Oldest Cop in the World," Red Skelton shows how a not-so-young policeman assists in the capture of a criminal.

13.30 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: I CAME, I SAW, I CONKED HER (copyright title)
28Apr1964 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP29230 / copyright date: 25Apr64
Australian broadcast:
23Oct1965 Melbourne, GTV-9, Saturday 8:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guests:
Tony Bennett … musical guest
Sandra Gould … Hortense (Clara's sister)
Virginia Gray … Clara Appleby
Jules Munshin … Dr. Kilburn
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "I Came, I Saw, I Conked Her"
"George Appleby" (Red), to get rid of his annoying sister-in-law Hortense (Virginia Gray), tries to palm her off on a prospective husband.
Musical Highlights:
Tony Bennett sings "The Show Must Go On" and "Make Someone Happy"
The Silent Spot:
Red reprises his famous pantomime portrayal of a barber who uses too much dandruff remover on a customer's head.

13.31 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: I'M HEADING FOR THE LAST GROWNUP (copyright title)
aka "I'm Heading For The Last GROWN-UP"
05May1964 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP29231 / copyright date: 2May64
Australian broadcasts:
13Oct1964 Sydney, TCN-9, Tues. 7:30pm
05Feb1966 Melbourne, GTV-9, Saturday 8:30pm
Guests:
Mickey Rooney (former child actor) … Junior Cavendish's Father
Jackie Coogan (former child actor) … Game Warden (Silent Spot)
The Snobs (English rock group) … musical guests
(Eddie Gilbert, on drums; Peter Yerrall, bass guitar; Colin Sandland, lead guitar, and John Boulden, rhythm guitar)
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "I'm Heading For the Last Grown-Up"
After seven years at the North Pole, nuclear submarine commander Cavendish (Mickey Rooney) gets his first look at his son Junior (Red) and immediately
applies for re-enlistment.
Musical Highlights:
The Snobs perform "Buckle Shoe Stomp," "Henry VIII" and "Love Potion No. 9."
The Snobs are four 17-year-olds from London who wear powdered wigs, velvet coats, silk cravats and buckle shoes, 17th Century costumes that are alleged
to have cost $1,000 each. Recorded, so the legend goes, at a 12th Century Buckinghamshire mansion, Medmenham Abbey, built on the site of a 12th century monastery.
The Silent Spot:
Fisherman Red engages in a battle of wits with game warden Jackie Coogan.

13.32 [--] The Red Skelton Hour: CRIME DOESN'T PAY LIKE IT USED TO
12May1964 CBS Tue / prod. no. LP29232 / copyright date: 8May64
Australian broadcasts:
20Oct1964 Sydney, TCN-9, Tues. 7:30pm
15Jan1966 Melbourne, GTV-9, Saturday 8:30pm
Director: Seymour Berns
Guests:
Raymond Burr … D.A. George Goodguy
Julie Redding … Fifi, the Defendant
The Beach Boys … musical guests
*
Main Comedy Sketch: "Crime Doesn't Pay Like It Used To"
Raymond Burr plays a janitor who is put into the high office of district attorney.
"San Fernando Red" (Skelton) tries to discredit his onetime political protιgι, District Attorney George Goodguy (Raymond Burr).
Highlights include an amazingly risquι bit involving the Indian name "Chief Rain in the Puss,"
and Raymond Burr's refusal to make an entrance unless the orchestra plays the "Perry Mason" theme.
Musical Highlights:
The Beach Boys perform "I Get Around" and "In My Room."
The Silent Spot:
Red plays a vaudeville magician.
Red Skelton illustrates the best way to serve dinner to a young lady in his rooming house when the rules prohibit female visitors.

Next few weeks:
[--] 19-May-1964 - Repeat from 19-Feb-1963 (Jayne Mansfield, Virginia Grey, The Lettermen)
[--] 26-May-1964 - Repeat from 26-Mar-1963 ("Frontier Coward" w/ Amanda Blake, Bobby Rydell)
[--] 02-June-1964 - Repeat from 16-Apr-1963 ("How Green Was My Money" w/ Robert Horton)
[--] 09-June-1964 - Repeat from 06-Jan-1963 (Eve Arden)

Summer replacement series:
[--] 16June1964 through 15Sep1964 - Repeats of "High Adventure with Lowell Thomas" (which CBS originally aired as TV specials from Nov. 1957 through March 1959).

############ The Red Skelton Hour ############
############## end of season 13 ###############
##############################################

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